Attributed to Harvey Mackay in his pithy book “Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive”, I like this adage because it is, like many other aspects of negotiation, so counter-intuitive.In his view (and ours), you’ll be amazed how much the terms of your deals will improve when you learn to say ‘No’.

However, there is a heck of a lot more to this expression than first meets the eye.

We live in a world of noise where silence has almost ceased to exist. A significant majority of people are uncomfortable with it and seek to fill it even with mundane background noise. We regularly see this manifest itself in countless businesses where we see people in meetings and negotiations talking too much, tripping over themselves to ‘lead the conversation’ or to interject as soon as the other person pauses so that they can post their arguments. It is as though silence is to be avoided and immediately filled...

There is nothing quite so empowering to a negotiator that knowing that they can walk away from the deal if necessary. This hugely important factor enables them to be assertive on their goals, confident that if an acceptable deal is not reached, they have an alternative option. Similarly, the other party will sense this too and will be commensurately wary of pushing too hard. Unfortunately, the opposite is true too! Having no alternative, such as in a monopoly situation, can leave you in a very vulnerable position.

To negotiate people must have the ability to exchange ideas, concerns, proposals and arguments – in short, communicate effectively.

In negotiation, and in life, everything that you do has repercussions – actions have consequences. It comes back to you one way or another.

Absolutely fundamental to negotiation is our ability to persuade others to accept our view.

“There are, of course, many ways by which sellers can categorise or segment their customers. By far the most common is size or revenue, but this is simply not adequate if you want to determine how to manage a relationship or how to negotiate with a customer. ”

“Value is the extent to which a product or service is perceived by the other party to meet his or her needs or desires, measured by their willingness to pay for it. It commonly depends more on their perception of the worth of the product than its intrinsic value.”

There was no greater war leader and strategist than Chinese military general Sun Tzu. His philosophy on how to be a great leader and ensure you win in work, management, and life is often quoted – for good reason. Sun Tzu also states the “Every battle is won before it is fought” – a point we picked up in our Rule No2.

In our experience, only one third of the delegates attending our programmes spend more than one hour planning, preparing and rehearsing for a negotiation. Often this is done in a café, taxi or train en-route to a customer, or in a rushed pre-meeting, which is prone to regular interruptions, just prior to a key meeting with a supplier!